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Game dream believer

If you could wake up and spend 24 hours in an online game with any weapons/powers, would you do it? If so, what type of game would you choose, and why?

Oh wow, this one's right up my alley lol. Well there are two games I'd like to wake up in...because its so hard to just pick one. But since this question specifies "online game" I'd pick Diablo. I'd go in as a necromancer with all maxed out levels of power and ability, maxed out life mana and what not. My weapons of choice, the bone wand and sythe. The atmosphere of nature, darkness, and lack of futuristic things (guns, cars, tanks, space ships, computers..etc) is what would make me choose it. Being in your own natural element and having to fend for yourself using only the basic of things is what being human and alive truely means.



Well I wish I had more time to explore this but time is running slim so next time.











Single pride day

Given that we're less than a week out from Valentines, how do you feel about the approaching holiday? Will you participate or abstain? If you're not in a relationship, how will you celebrate your single status?

Valentine's Day has really never been my thing, probably because I've really never had anyone to really share the day with. Even as a kid I always dreaded the V-day knowing I'd get some cruel valentine card saying "be mine - NOT!" or the defective and damaged candy or the pencil that just happen to break while being brought to school.

In middle school, oh God was valentines bad. LOL people would be on this huge hype of, "you gotta get a girlfriend", "we need to have a date" and wouldn't you know it...when the school had its valentines dance, I was usually one of those guys standing at the buffet table snacking on crackers and coke while everyone else enjoyed festive dancing and higging and what not. Don't even get me started on high school, valentines only got worse! If you weren't involved in some type of relationship or dating someone you automatically became a social outcast. Even some of the most detestable boys in my high school somehow pulled off dating someone. Through my freshmen year up to my junior year dances, homecomings, and special events were all the same, dateless and humiliating. It's not that I didn't try, spirits only know I asked girls on dates, but by the third month of my junior year I just simply gave up.

I mean, what was the point in trying if all I ever did was embarass myself, be made to look like a desperate fool, and get laughed at.

My adult years weren't any better...college dances were tough. At the first university I went to I couldn't even get a woman to talk to me either because I was not Catholic or Lutheran or Penecostal...or because I came from Milwaukee. And once again I got judged just because I went to high school and lived in Milwaukee. :(   Going to MATC I thought maybe things would be better...at least I would be seeing people who might be from Milwaukee. NOPE! It was bad, I got shot down a few times because of color :(  *and honestly I would've rather been shot down because I wasn't Catholic instead of not being black or white*  I was even turned down because someone thought that I behaved like I was gay...just because I use a very well articulated vocabulary and didn't wear my pants down to my knees. How stupid is that???

Well anyway, after that I really didn't care much. The woman that was in my life at the time could care less about anything unless it involved her getting ahead of everything and everyone else-including our kids. So pretty much my Valentine's days usually involve me and the kids going out to lunch somewhere they think is "cool" and seeing a movie at the theatures. And once again, this Valentines will probably be the same just as the next might be too. :(  Well good thing there's a lot of interesting movies coming out lol :)

Animal magnetism

What animal best represents your inner spirit? If you had to wake up as an animal, which one would you choose, and why? Are your two answers the same? Why or why not?

Well ironicly enough, the animal that most represents my inner spirit is the Timber wolf, which is funny because as a child I was terrified of dogs...big dogs in particular. <_<   But after one instant when I was confronted by a large Cho in my uncle's house, I realized that there wasn't anything to be afraid of because dogs are no different than humans. If anything they have a much better sense of society than do people.
But getting back on track, the wolf represents my inner spirit. Now if I had to wake up as an animal it would definately have to be a roach LOL.  Simply because they live through just about anything, they survive all sorts of human attempts to kill them, and lets face it when the world ends which would you rather be? Something that has a low chance of survival or something that would most likely survive and possibly out live the human race?

Dawn to dusk...Dusk to dawn

I don't know, I thought things were going somewhere but the one thing that I always seem to fear coming ends up coming. Regardless of what happens I still plan to be there as a great friend. I guess my metaphore of two worlds crashing into each other and ultimately causing chaos wasn't too off. But no matter what happens or how I may feel, I'm not going to turn back...I've already made so much good progress for myself on my life- the counceling, the eye opening and thought provoking things that have caused me to take a bigger look at myself. So yes, I will stay on my path to self improvment, maybe one day who knows I might even surprise myself.

But for now, the aches I feel have become draining. Maybe she was right, perhaps we are better suited to being great friends. I don't know anymore. But like my councelor quoted from some movie, "keep moving forward" so I'll use that as my mantra.

I can't let my own emotions flood out to the point where it effects others around me...I like to look at things realisticly too, I just view them more positively. A person doesn't have to see things in a negative light to be realistic. Emotionally everything has falling to dusk, but I know the light of dawn will one day peak again. It's just a matter of waiting for that time to eventually arrive.

Back from the dead

If you could experience being dead for one day to learn what happens in the afterlife, and were guaranteed to return to life the following day, would you do it? Why or why not?

Yeah, I'd try it. Hell I've always been fascinated with the unknown. I do wonder how it would feel, does our soul just magically float around or does it stay laying in our grave slumbering until judgment day? Do we immediately burn up in a puff of dramatic flames, what? Well that's my curiosity.

School daze

Did you remain at the same school(s) or transfer to a number of different schools growing up? How did your early educational experiences impact your self-esteem and confidence?

Oh well while growing up I was all over the place lol. I went through three elementary schools; Dan Brook elemetary first, I was there for kindergarten and first grade. But because the majority of students there were hispanic and and black, I was treated very diffently. I couldn't speak spanish so I couldn't hang with the hispanic kids, and my skin wasn't "dark" enough to be socially accepted by the black kids. My parents transfered me to Raymond Temple Elementary where I met my friend Kevin, Daniel, Fabien, and Brandon. I had to repeat first grade there but stayed until I finished my fourth grade year, Then I was transfered to Albert Schweiter elementary when my parnts moved to another apartment complex. It was here that I met my closest friends Nathan and Arslan!  I was here for fifth and sixth grade then I graduated to Orange Viewjunior high. It was fun until I had to move to wisconsin.

Once in WI I was quickly enrolled at John Muir middle school, my first middle school. t was wierd being with sixth graders again :( I was already psyched for the junior high scene where only seventh and eighth graders were. Suddenly my troubles began, I was always refered to as the geeky glasse kid, the oreo, the kid who tried to be black but wasnt, and the kid was unaccepted by the white kids. From Middle school I moved on to Madiso High school. Uhg. lol

Meanwhile, back on the ranch ...

What is the absolute worst part of returning to work or school after a particularly long and relaxing vacation? How quickly do you reacclimate to the daily grind?

Oh this is so easy...livejournal you're getting a little uncreative with these blocks. LOL

So the absolute worst part of returning to work and (in my case) school after a long relaxing vacation is having to deal with the co-workers and classmates when all you want to do is rewind time and be back on vacation. Instead of thinking about theories and scientific methods, you're thinking about that Wii you played or the play you watched during that vacation. Instead of thnking about the decisions you have to make at work, you're thinking about the laughter and fun times you had during that vacation. For me, I think I'm still in that "reacclimate" phase. lol

What I did

Have you ever made an important life decision (such as where to work or attend school) based on purely emotional factors, even though you knew it was not the best choice for you? Would you do it again?

Hmm, I've done quite a few of those in my younger days, but the one that stands the most was when I tried to make a doomed relationship work. Not going into full detail because that's just way too much to write, but if I hadn't tried to fool myself into thinking that I could make it work I wouldn't have wasted the majority of my young adult life away in misery. Would I go through it aain if I could? Nope! That particular situation was emotionally and physically draining, psychologically messed me up since I'm still discussing some aspects of it in counseling, and it's not just me that has to pay for it, all the people in my life are dealing with it in some way or another and that's not fair to them.

Hmm, another big "life decision" oh yeah, making my move to my current state of residence. I made that choice pretty immaturey and didn't think carefully on it, I didn't do any research or anything...it was a simple miracle that I managed t pull through, and no I would never make another blind move like that. It was way too scary.

To auld lang syne

Do you usually call your friends and/or family on New Year's Eve? Do you watch the countdown or ball drop on TV or choose to ignore it? What are your favorite New Year traditions?

Well my family and I have never really been much for seeing the count down ball or anything like that. Usually we...ok well my parents, usually prepare snack foods for everyone to enjoy. The type of snacks always depends on what's going on during that particular new year. For example, when we lived in California it was usually hot so my mom always made tuna salad with ritz crackers layered on a platter wit cheese cubes. In Wisconsin she made hot dogs with a huge variety of condiments layed out for use. So now in Virginia we mix it up a bit this time we have nachoes, mini hamburgers, and soda. One thing I'm so glad about is that this year the Syfy channel is doing a 46 hour marathon of the Twilight Zone. :)   Back in California we used to watch the Twilight Zone and the originl Godzilla shows every New Years.....*sigh*  good times.

The morning after Xmas

Do you usually experience a let-down after the holidays or a wave of relief that the social obligations are over?

Hmm, well this is a tough one to answer. Normally I would have a feeling of relief after the holidays simply because all of the people who come to celebrate it have settled dwn and left for home, there is no rush in getting things prepared or cleaned up. Now if I recieved a horrible gift or something then I might feel let-down but in actuality, right after the holidays I I usually experience a rush of anxiety...I guess something slightly comparable to a panic attack. Why? With my family as soon as christmas is done and over with it's always a thing of rushing to get the holiday decor taken down and put away over the next few days, only to have to prepare things for New Years.

Now I used to still experience this feeling after New Years as well because my kids have birthdays in January and February so I was always getting those things prepared for and what not. But now I usually start to mellow down after New Years because the birthday things I usually have taken care of the same time I take care of christmas stuff.  That and  think when you don't wait until the last minute to do holiday shopping you don't experience those pre-holiday anxieties from rushing through crowds of people.